I ONCE WAS LOST

I was working down on Houston last evening and I noticed several people that were pulling luggage and after then each passed me by the second time I realized they were off there baring which is easy to do down on the LES. My first reaction was one of sympathy how terrible it must be to not know where you're going, but then two separate individuals passed me a third time I realized they were lost. I recognized the panic and despair in their eyes and became very upset with myself. Who was I to pity these people and how quickly I have forgotten some of the many sub-basements of my bottom.

I've traveled the country looking for my place in the world, where I fit in and felt normal and most importantly safe with peace of mind. I'm still looking and I doubt I'll ever stop but I've narrowed it down my home town of NYC for now. I have been building my a foundation here and I think that the sign of it being a good one is that I almost forgot how bad things used to be.

After my total recall I was happily reminded of insanity when a very unstable person passed by me on Houston screaming obscenities at everyone. But wait there's more. Today was Bronx Gay Pride day and not only did I help set up the stage but I also went out to celebrate and go dancing. I will go into more detail about this adventure later but suffice to say I did stay sober. The club I went to in the Westchester Sq was not your typical Chelsea experience. It had a very small town feel but I liked it. It reminded me of my days in Florida when I was as young as the boys in this place, which brings me to my point.

At first I was very nervous and uncomfortable going to club but I saw some many young people that at first I just said OMG was I ever that young? As I watched them watching each other I realized some of them were trying to find themselves like we all once or still are. So I looked inside myself and found who I am at least at this point in my life and I liked no I loved what I saw and so I got on that dance floor and I TURNED IT OUT!

WERQ BETCHES

That’s how it goes…

I’ve given up on the happy ending, the white night on his stead or Ducati, at least for now. At this moment in time I’m taking what I need and leaving the rest. I continue to date and put myself out there and am still disappointed. If I kiss anymore frogs I’m gonna be in a valtrex commercial. Not that these guys are ugly or bad guys there just hasn’t been anyone that I’ve said “Hey I want to introduce you to my family.” It’s not that no one is good enough for me it’s that they aren’t good enough for the people that are too good to me. I share so much love and receive so much from the loved ones around me that they just don’t measure up. Sorry guys but you’re not good enough for my baby brother and his mom or my Aunt Lu or my cousins or Melinda and her mother. The funny thing is everyone in my life in a non romantic way is worth it. All my friends measure up. I guess I need to start fishing in my own pond. Why do I have such a hang up about this?

Either you get your terms met from people you don't want
Or want what you want from people that don't want to give it to you

District 9

I know I don't usually talk about movies or other form of pop culture but after seeing District 9 I have to tell you to go see it!

Like any scifi movie there are bound to be inconsistencies but the way this movie was able to piece different aspects of other scifi tails and improve upon them is worth mentioning. The formula they used to combine a documentary about refugees a man trying to do his job & family trying to get home, that just happen to be aliens to create one movie was thoughtful and well approached and didn't feel contrived at all.

The movie starts with the documentary style that people use to make the most unbelievable seem believable. We all have seen the "Blair Witch Project" and if you didn't like "Cloverfield" I still think you will like D-9. It follows Wikus van der Merwe at work and his promotion with his company to personally evict the aliens from District 9. Each shot seemed to start from the interview or from a security camera or military scope which tied the bouncing shots together very well. It really made the action flow at a great pace while still letting you connect to even the CGI Prawns.

Then there's the 'Modern Refugee' story we were promised by Steven Spielberg in "The War of the Worlds" who instead gave us Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning over acting us to death. Director Neill Blomkamp gives us a story that could be anywhere and he sets the tone right at the beginning of the film refugees or immigrants invited legal or illegal could show up anywhere and he makes a clear point about the emotions that are stirred with the natives, but in this story the refugees are from another planet.

Wikus do to circumstances is now being hunted by his company and is forced to work with a Prawn named Christopher and his child and we start to see the "humanity" in the Prawns while struggling to hold on to his own. In Order to survive he was trust in Christopher. We watch him struggle with this and later watch Christopher question whether he can trust Wikus.

With all this great plot and dialog (half in Prawn) we also get great action and horror. Amazing weapons are at the disposal of the Prawn and this is where you can see that the picture is trying to tell us that these refugees may actually be peaceful creatures that we are just choosing to not try to understand. I really enjoyed the battle suit scene and many more aspects of this film.

Watch this movie and then pretend that the prawns were any other race or creed.

Wendy told me to do it!

How You Doin! Awright!

That's right peeps I was on the Wendy Williams Show today and I got to ask Wendy something. Now if you guys recall "cafe Con Frenemy" back in April I mentioned Facebook as a tool for investigating beau's and suitors so that you can see who they talk to the most or have the most "cyber interaction" with.

Recently I posted some old pics of me on facebook of when I was younger and thinner to help inspire me in my diet and quest for a lost waist line and it really helps. Well for the last few days my mother has been blowing me up on facebook. Making rude comments about my scantily pictures and just being plain rude so I asked Wendy if I should delete my mom and she said yes.

Now I tried to set her to have limited access to my page but that didn't stop her from commenting or sending emails about the stuff that I have public.

I'm now short one friend. :(

When Beautiful People Do Ugly Things

There I was waiting for the 2 train at Time Sq where standing before was one of the most handsome Latino men I have ever laid eyes on. Not only did he have the face of an angel he also had a body that was built for sin below the neck. He was very muscular not that that really gets me going but what caught my eye was his ass. Below his 48"chest was maybe a 28-30" waist and below that must have been a 36" butt. Not a fat one, the one that you know is on top of really muscular thighs. Suffice to say I was melting.

I stood next to him on the train when I noticed his hands. That was it I am in love. perfectly masculine manicured nails. No nail biting, no bruises or cracks, or nail polish or buffed shininess, just beautiful hands and finger nails. Then he fucked it up. He started making these hand motions like he was playing a video game I thought at first. As I continued to study his motions I realized what he was doing.

He was practicing taking apart a gun then firing it, then all these other motions that were apparent to coordinate with rifles and machine guns etc. I don't need to know how to do these things but I've seen enough Rambo like movies to get the jest. I realized he must me a military guy or a police cadet (I am a sucker for uniforms) but that's not an excuse.

I don't care what your opinion on gun control is unless you agree with me. "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Stupid people say this cause 3 year old's don't bleed to death by sticking bullets up their noses' and gangland murder rates aren't so high cause they drive by break dance. Things were different when you were a kid (unless your my age or younger) cause guns were hard to come by! Asshole! So don't romanticize an object that can kill me, but feel free to try to break my hip!

Unlimited Rides

The heart beat of mid America may be Chevrolet, but the pulse of NYC is our mass transit system. I may not be a fan of the MTA and the fare hikes but I’ll throw down with anyone that talks smack about the NYC subway system. My neighbor constantly complains that he never has a seat or that the stations are so dirty blah blah blah… He’s correct but I always answer his complaints with “What time does the Boston subway system (his home town) stop running?” and he shuts up.

Not only does the transit system connect 5 boroughs and 4 million riders a day but it also connects people on a one on one level. Now I know a lot of people but today I happened to run into about 6 people in random locations that I haven’t seen in a while one person twice today but another one in the most random of locations. On a subway platform in midtown on the east side I saw a fellow that I see once in a while at meetings. I can’t help but feel connected and at home in NYC. I see people I know everywhere I go and I love that. As an addict a relapse is always an arms length away so it’s amazing to me that I can find recovery with the swipe of a metrocard.

While the MTA fairies were sprinkling me with recovery dust on another subway line my Aunt was the witness to a rather contrasting picture. On the train was a mother using a toothbrush to fix her daughter’s hair. My aunt stated that as the little girl cried the mother just began to curse at her. It reminds me of the scene in Mommie Dearest when Joan Crawford finds Christina using her makeup and hair products and decides to chop all her hair off.

It makes me think about how many people lack any sense of composure or tack. I’ve seen men clip their nails on the train, masturbate, pee between cars and sexually harass women and I’ve even been mugged on a platform. I think you’re not officially a New Yorker even by birth until you’ve been mugged. It’s a right of passage good for one fare. I’ve even seen women pee themselves, (poor old lady) and all sorts of other things, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Not only is there really great entertainment at busy transfer stations but there are dance and barber shop quartets and panhandlers with the same stories from 15 years ago but there are also our friends and family heading to a destination so lets be thankful for them arriving home safe tonight.

GIMME A HUG part duex

I was working in Union Square Park today and guess who i saw? Solomon the leader of the Free Hug Cult. He was not garnishing a giant free hug sign but he still had his sexy airs about him, although I could smell patchouli oil I am still fascinated by this create. The best part was as always in Union Square Park people like to get up on soap boxes and preach whatever they want and either connect with the crowd or in today's case enrage them. Including me. Solomon and I both challenged this preacher as he spit inconsistencies. I'm sorry of you're gonna open your mouth have the facts and data to back yourself up DON'T USE THE BIBLE as factual information in modern society. Compare all you like that's fine. Tell us how good things were when Jesus was here and blah blah blah, but don't talk about how aids in Africa is due to unchristian African truck drives that spread disease, or that abstinence reduces STD and teenage pregnancy rates. This is not me saying what my opinion is and making it fact like religions' try to do this data processed from the CDC (the Center for Disease Control) telling us that not educating people puts them at risk. I'm not gonna get into all the details of this asshole but I voiced my opinion since he was an idiot.

It was nice to see Solomon who informed me he was flattered of my blog entry from May 23rd "give me a hug" and to see him ruffle the preachers feathers. I went back to work knowing that Solomon and his crew would give preacher man a run for his money!

GOD I LOVE UNION SQUARE PARK!!!