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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I had a great conversation this morning with my aunt. We caught each other up on the commas and punctuations in our life since we last spoke. Sharing each others sadness and joy in a understanding way that only family can.
No advice unless solicited but just the "yes I hear what your saying" (in an Italian boogie down Bronx kinda style) that resonating hum that let's each other know we love each other and hear one another.

The same great recipe of family dialogue, a pinch of how this one is and a handful of do you remember so and so from the block with a helping of who is that and then we spice it up with the new stuff. Some good some bad and some bitter sweet and viola. It’s filling satisfying and leaves a lingering in your heart for a morsel more.
As we were making our way through the check list of ingredients (family members) the same 2 were discussed as always my mother and father and as its been for the past year of my life mom's flavor of crazy was left on the shelf and for almost 5 years dads zesty shenanigans are left to enjoy the Florida sun and penal system.

For a moment I forgot who I was, what happened to the kid from Carpenter Ave. that cried over anything? I had to ask my aunt where he went. I’ve gotten myself so trained that my knee jerk reaction to any probing about those two are to act like I barely recall them. As if they were just another one of the other random people from the block that I get confused with. Then I feel bad that I don’t remember who they are when they should be associated with fond memories.

Then my Aunt as only she can do said “I know you and you’re still that same person, he never went anywhere. You just learned how to deal with that sooner then anyone else.” She went on to say other stuff to make me feel better. It was just what I needed to hear to because as much as I’m the first one to figure out who is bad for me I’m the last to know when what I’m doing is right for me.


  1. yes, i know your mom is crazy right? didn't she bail you out all the time? didn't she let you live in her house after you got her arrested because she didn't want you in her apartment because you were using & coming back home whacked out of your face? didn't she give you a car that you trashed & left on the highway during one of your runs? or after she let you live upstate in her house after you stole her credit card & blew it up? yeah she sounds really f/ed up, or after she would buy you clothes for the winter from the thrift shops because you had nothing warm to wear? how about her letting you use her jetta? or her pushing you to get your drivers license in order? or after she sacrificed her life & didn't have any other kids because she wanted you to have a life that she didn't have? yeah, maybe she should have made better choices.
    it's very sad to see how ungrateful some kids can be.

  2. oh & didn't she take you on a trip to Mexico with her husband? all expenses paid by her? didn't she also pick up furniture for you for your apartment to try to help you out after all the BS that you put her through? wow, she's a real piece of work your mother. i guess maybe some other grown man who has a mother like yours would be very thankful & humble to know that she loves you but i guess you have everything figured out in life.

  3. the emphasis is on GROWN MAN. you sound like a little kid who is angry at his mother for differences that happen between parents and their kids. i think you should grow up, take the tampon out of your butt & respect your mother & your father. if you feel your life is so perfect maybe you should become a saint or better yet one of the 12 apostles?

  4. you know i heard through a friend that you once spent a holiday at your moms house & you flew into one of your hissy fits. knowing how addicts behave & with all the negativity you spew about your mom you really sound like a spoiled overgrown kid. if your other so called loved ones are so terrific maybe you should have lived with them or used one of their cars. i guess your mother powdered your bottom to long & this is why you disrespect her the way you do. you should have been put in check when you were a kid but i guess no one put you in check. you are a disrespectful little boy who hasn't grown up yet.