Monday, June 22, 2009
I'm about 20,000 ft in the air and my ears just popped so violently that I dropped the book that I'm reading. I'm only 15 pages in and already I've wanted to open the emergency exit hatch and toss it to hopefully land on the authors head to strike him dead. Not for a lack of talent but rather for being able to make me cringe in disgust 7 pages in and cry at least 3 times already and I'm not even in the 3rd chapter!
I have had bad ear canals since I was a child and with smoking for 16 years of my life and being asthmatic and having bad allergies I have done enough damage to my inner sinuses and ear parts that I will be having tubes put in my ear this fall or winter. So as soon as we hit a certain altitude and the lack of pressure I felt my inner ear canals pop open and the worse of the 2 the right started to spray fluid down the back of my sinus cavity and down my throat. I know gross right! I'll tell you what guys I am afraid of the surgery but not so much to stop me from having it. For the past 3 years I've suffered from sinus infections that at their worst caused me to start suffering from tinnitus (ringing in the ears) for 5 months. The ringing never stopped I'd wake up to ringing, go trough my day ringing and try to fall asleep still ringing. At first I thought I wad losing my mind and being upstate with quack doctors I thought it was hopeless. I would break into tears in my office at work the first 2 months because I thought I was really losing my mind and I was told by everyone that I just needed to adjust to it. Thank god it finally caused me to relapse on new years of '08 and after 2 months of crystal bingeing the dehydrating effect the drug had drained my ears enough to stop the ringing. I then got clean a month later and moved back to NYC where with the help of great doctors and an acupuncturist (hey Peter) I have developed a most complicated regimen to keep the tinitus and sinus infections away. This includes Claritin-d (after trying every drug without pseudoephedrine) to keep my sinuses dry, chinese herbs (magnolia pills) to also fight off colds and such, Nasonex to shrink the shrink the tissue where the ear canal meets the sinus cavity to help proper drainage, a netti-pot to keep my sinuses clean and help rinse mucus and debris that built up in there, and acupuncture to line some chia properly to tell my body to work properly. This sounds like a lot but the alternative is to have my ears swell and mess up my equilibrium to the point where blowing my nose would cause me to completely lose my balance from vertigo and fall. I've almost cracked my head on a few public & private toilets and or sinks. Holding on to a sink for dear life or praying to a toilet bowl to regain balance for sometimes up to 30 minutes is rather debilitating so if surgery will cure all this you're damn skippy I'm going under the knife.
Ok let's get back to the book. Its an author that has made it on Oprah's book club more then once and his first book I read back in the days of Doink and it was a real tear yerker. "She's Come Undone" by Wally Lamb I still remember how it pulled at every emotion I had. Now I'm reading "I Know This Much Is True" by Wally Lamb and already he's managed in 15 pages to strike on an issue too close to home. Losing a loved one to cancer. My grandmother (Nana) died on Jan '02 and I have never been the same. I have mentioned before that her death really sent me off to the races and to this I day I miss her to no end so if I don't make it through this book you all know why!