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Friday, June 5, 2009

‘X’ things I hate about U2


Where do I begin to express how nauseas I am at this moment? Is it due to the void I keep trying to putty over with ice cream? I know Misery loves company, and why is Joy so obnoxious, are they the epitome of ‘frenemies’? They are the salt and pepper one reserved table of bitterness I sit at. I just want some sugar in my bowl some sweetness down on my soul! What’s the matter Daddy? I’ll tell you my neighbor and his boyfriend are celebrating their ONE MONTH anniversary with an ice cream cake. (You’re damn Skippy I cut a big fucking piece off for myself.) Now again I love them I’m happy they are together. I think they are good together and good for each other but I think I’m allergic to them.

1. They are a cute interracial couple (Can we be more cliché?)
2. They pout when they’re not around each other
3. They have no idea what the either one’s name is. “Baby” “Yeah Baby”
4. They feel the need to tell me how much they care about the other
5. They are still in that lets just be naked all the time faze still
6. They think PDA’s are completely appropriate on the subway (the whole ride)
7. They pity the single people “you’ll meet someone”
8. They don’t know what white noise is (music to drown out the moaning)
9. They are using my lube and I have no reason to demand it back
10. They can eat as much ice cream as me and actually burn it off!

I know love and relationships always look good from the sidewalk when you’re window shopping. I used to have a hard time picking outfits out. I would find a cute top or bottom and not know what to do with it. Then I discovered I could find the said top or bottom on a mannequin and find the matching counterpart. This sounds good but the mannequins are plastic and are designed so that everything looks good on them. So the cute piece you pick out from your own taste may not really work on you with anything where you’re shopping. So as hard or as easy as you try to look like everyone else it just may not work.