Well I'm sure you're all surprised that I am managing to do a back to back blog entry. (Sorry Ter this one isn't about you yet either)
Alright so you all now know about my first love Anthony aka Doink. How he gnawed out my heart like a rat through dry wall and then left it exposed to the elements. And you know what yeah I know it's been 15 years but I'm still bitter. Maybe that's why I don't trust my emotions, and why I'm such a nasty fuck!
But I digress... "Suite Resentment" Picture it the majestic Pocono's and bottles of 'OFF' discuss... Ok ready? So in the rooms its known as a 13th step when you take advantage of a new comer or any conception of sexual relationship with fellows can be misinterpreted as this 13th plateau . I was fortunate enough to have my own room in the Pocono's at a Spring Retreat this April. I knew I requested my own room and I planned to be quite the promiscuous fellow. I have A LOT of hot friends. This was not to be.
I was only 35-40 days into my 90 day celibacy vow. If there is one thing about me its that I will cut off my... lets go with nose, to spite my, hmmmm, face. Several fellows said that those vows don't count when you're in another state but I took the high route. The make me miserable and hate all my hot friends all 150 or more around me. trapped in the country.
Some adapt so well the serene surroundings of trees, babbling brooks, hiking trails, bugs, oh and a main road with large semi's and other large convoys trek. Like the road from 'Pet Cemetery'. The country gives me anxiety, I kept expecting someone to get pulverized by a truck and the Lodge staff to say "we can bring'em back" through missing teeth "but he'll be evil" like any of these queens aren't already. (and I mean evil with love) There was an injury but nothing fatal. I was really hoping for something more tragic. At least a lovers quarrel. I got nothing. I slept alone the whole time, I didn't even get fondled. Not even a kiss. Not even a lingering hug nothing. So I stuck to my celibacy bullshit and christened my room Suite Resentment. 150 gay men + me and a half empty full sized bed. I love my fellows and I really don't plan to sleep with any of them but it would be nice to know if any would even be interested.
Let me be honest though I'm a nasty MoFo when I wake up and I'm sure my vileness gave others a resentment too. I think my fellows probably feel bad for the guy I take hostage. Maybe next year I'll try to be a little more pleasant. Or maybe I'd be more pleasant if the next retreat was in another large urban area. I can handle Pennsylvania I suggest Philly Center City give me a park and a metro transit city and I can camp!