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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I ate a back street boy!

There are in my opinion several variations of the gay gene. Some gays are born with looks and style and a drive to maintain physical perfection. I hate you bitches. There are some that just have a charm and finesse that they just get everything they want. They usually need minimal effort to maintain small waists and possess just enough definition to attract everyone. Then there are those who have all the wit and cleverness that they become the beacon of what is culture fashion theatre or other wise. Then there are the unfortunate averages like me who toil to be on of the attractive side have a decent pinch of the wit.
I believe I'm in the average category. I know I'm witty and can be charming and I am intelligent but I've never really had the fashion sense nor the body. I did at one point and I worked very hard for it. I'm naturally just average but I discovered that high protein, low carb diets with 2-3 hours of cardio a day gave me a 31" waist. I threw in some push ups and a couple hundred crunched and sit ups and viola I had a washboard stomach. Now I know my good featured, 2 years on my HS fencing team (unsheathe gay joke here) gave me great legs and the half Rican half Italian packs quite a caboose on me but the chest and waist is a struggle. More so due to the fact that I was rather heavy when I was twenty, I think I ate one of the back street boys. The funny thing is that when I discovered my 1 drug of choice exctacy I didn't have to do as much cardio during the day. I would just dance from Friday to Sunday and not eat. Then I discovered I could eat whatever I wanted because it was never more then 4 days away till my next fast.
Even though I'm no where near as big as I once was nor as emaciated as I once was I have a hard time seeing myself as anything but fat. Now I get the bug to exercise but the addict in me that wants to check out knows that if I really push myself I can feel all sorts of great effects from over doing it. For instance the runners high, I love that high but my left hip and knee does not.
This is to remind myself that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to like losing eight inches off my waist without the use of drugs so if you hear me complaining when I get back from Tennessee just tell me to shut up and take a walk! I continue to accomplish my short term goals and I need to acknowledge that a acceptable waist size needs to be a long term goal that I can do!

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