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Saturday, May 23, 2009

GIMME A HUG

I am a very touchy feeling huggable cuddly guy when I am dating someone. I can hug and kiss my friends but I always pull away first. What can I say hugging makes me uncomfortable. I can tell you that on average I probably hug anywhere from 10-25 people (mostly guys) a day.

Today I was working outside promoting an event when I ran out of fliers. I was then recruited by the “Free Hugs” cult. I really don’t even know where to begin to describe how much my skin crawls at the thought of touching strangers. Now I’m an outgoing friendly person. At least I can pretend to be very well. No I’m not claiming to be a member of the “Actors’ Studio” but I can fake the funk in order to survive and navigate society. Hugging is just too much for me.

So there I stand in Union Square Park with a giant “Free Hugs” sign in my hand and total strangers accosting me with their open arms. Let me take you to where my mind goes: crazy people touch strangers, crazy people don’t bathe, dirty crazy people have lice, dirty crazy lice infested people have germs, dirty crazy infested people are prime candidates for the “Swine Flu” OMG I felt something jump off that ladies head and land on my arm. I start feeling itchy all over. Great now I have probably have lice and the “Swine Flu” I’m not into the hippy long barefoot (or in sox) curly hair hemp wearing types but “Solomon” the “Leader of the “F H” cult doesn’t smell like Patchouli oil and B.O. But what really gets my goat is that the guy “Solomon” if that’s his real name radiates sex. Maybe that’s how these things work. I don’t know I have no idea what the real motive of the ‘F H’ people are but I am really wanting a long lingering (take in the location of various points of pressure) hug from him.

I’m not hugging strangers to get a free hug though. I have plenty of friends to choose from to have inappropriate body contact with. I will mention that I have 26 days left till I reassess the celibacy thing. So if I tell you I need a hug and I don’t let go lets just blame it on the cult.

3 comments:

  1. http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2009/04/27

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  2. I'll be expecting to see you next week too ;)

    --Solomon the hippy

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  3. Ok so I didn't go by the park that weekend but I did look for him this weekend... I will swing by Union Sq this Friday for sure.

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